How to catch a Lion?

 

Newton 's Method: Let, the lion catch you. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Implies you caught lion. ******************** Einstein Method: Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily. ******************** Software Engineer Method: Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion. ******************** Indian Police Method: Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion . ******************** Rajnikanth Method : Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself. ******************** Jayalalitha Method: Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping ! ******************** Manirathnam Method (director): Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted. Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide. ******************** Karan Johar Method (director): Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other. Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion. First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness (third) into the forest. You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont! ******************** Yash Chopra method (director): Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location. ******************** Govinda method: Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days. The Lion will drop dead just watching! ******************** Menaka Gandhi method: Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously. ******************** George bush method: Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!! ******************** Ravi Shastri method: Ask the lion to bowl at u. U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run Lion tired and surrenders

 

[VIDEO] Bank robber mask

 

[VIDS] Good Method to Fold Ur T-Shirt

 

[pics] SINHALA SINDU

 

The donkey (Good Lesson for Life) - But dnt forward to any one

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race and it won again.

The local paper read:  PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.

The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline: NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN .

The Bishop fainted.

He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the headlines read:  NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free.

The next day the headlines read : NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

Alas... The Bishop was buried the next day.

MORAL OF THE STORY???

Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even shorten your life. So, be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll live longer.

Anger and Love

While a man was polishing his new car, his 4 yr old son picked stone & scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child's hand & hit it many times, not realizing he was using an iron wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures. When the child saw his father....

with painful eyes he asked 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?' 

Man was so hurt and speechless. He went back to car and kicked it a lot of times.

Devastated by his own actions...... sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches, child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.

The next day that man committed suicide....

 Anger and Love have NO LIMIT - choose the latter to have a beautiful & lovely life....

 THINGS are meant to be USED and PEOPLE are to be LOVED,

..but the problem of today's world is that...

People are used & Things are loved!!!  

One can change if ONE wants to !

[PICS] love to travel in sri lanka

 

[PICS] Santhush's Wedding

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Sri Lankan Hell

A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.

He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for An hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then The German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
The man does not like the sound of that at all,so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more.
He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the Sri Lankan hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in.

Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"
He told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.

Then the Sri Lankan devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day."
"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"

"Because maintenance is so bad that

* the electric chair does not work,
* someone has stolen all the nails from the bed
* and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen!!!!

[PICS] A great email I got from a friend

 

Bill Gates Selling Microsoft..... ?

Letter is from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft Subject: Problems with my new computer  Dear Mr. Bill Gates, We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems,  which I want to bring to your notice. 1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.                                                   2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run'   he ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to 'sit', so that we can click that by sitting.                                                                     3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find    only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home. 4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find' button,  but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem. 5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that? 6. I brought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items? 7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not   even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that. 8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.                                                                     9. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?                                                                     10. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God shake please do not provide   'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my  office hours.                                                                 Regards,                                                                     Banta                                                               Last one from me to Mr Bill Gates : Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?

 

[PICS] Santhush's Wedding - 18th Dec 08 @ Cinnamon Grand

POPULAR Sri Lankan Singer!

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This message, including any attachments, contains confidential information intended for a specific individual and purpose, and is intended for the addressee only. Any unauthorized disclosure, use, dissemination, copying, or distribution of this message or any of its attachments or the information contained in this e-mail, or the taking of any action based on it, is strictly prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient, please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail and delete this message.

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